once there was a ship out on the high seas. the captain came out one day and said,"i've heard that there is a bunch of homosexual stuff going on on this ship, n' i don't want to hear of it any more. three days furlough for anyone who tells me of this crap, and three days in the brig for those guilty of it." later on, the ships purser comes to the captain and says," i think the cook has hadsome homosexual stuff going on." the captain looks at him and says," i can't just go on that. are ya' sure? do you have any proof?"
the purser says," well, i could taste some shit on his dick."

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Two guys in orange boiler suits go up to a colleage in a green boiler suit.
orange:hey, are you gay?
green:no...
orange:do you like cocktail sausages?
green:i suppose, yes
orange:........wanna come on a picnic?