Relationship is defined as connection between variables such as correlation or between people e.g. marriage.  All close relationships that are intimate involve emotional involvement.  Such relationships sometimes do not go smooth all the time due to diversities in various aspects.
Ask any grown up how many relationships he/she has had and most certainly the answer will be many.  However ask how many of these were surprised, the answer would certainly be few were good enough.

How to have a great relationship

 • Commitment – Some relationships start off on a high note but along the way.  Most relationships will go under for lack of commitment from either party in the relationship.  Being committed to one another and continual assurance of your loved ones that you love them will do a lot of good in a relationship.
 • Intimacy – This involves interpersonal and intrapersonal being open hearted, honest, deep sharing of your mind and acceptance of the other party.  It will also involve use of passionate words and actions that would arouse feelings of your partner.  Some relationships slow down after marriage or after a long time together because partners stop being intimate.  Intimacy therefore should be continuous and involve creativity every time so that it won’t be boring.
 • Partnership – If you treat your partner as equal to equal your relationship will mostly likely be great.  The modern relationships are greatly becoming more gender sensitive.  Therefore decisions that are made in the interest of a relationship should be negotiated based on ability, willingness and prevailing conditions.
 • Spirituality – Sharing same spiritual values with divine and unconditional loving source can act as a binder.  This gives the relationship a connection of purpose and reason and an option to turn to when things out working right.
 • Responsibility – This is another key factor to a great relationship.  If partners avoid just seeing faults in each other, but instead take up responsibilities where necessary.  It also calls for complimenting one another and accepting faults.  Apology is also necessary where one has be wronged.

How to approach Relationship Problems

 • Understanding – Be keen to listen to your partner views with minimum interruption.  If possible write them down everything you have to say and exchange notes mutual understanding would work better than blame game.  Make sure you understand exactly what your partner wants to express, because this will help to avoid misperceptions.
 • The problem should be identified clearly. As the Chinese adage goes, “a problem well stated is a problem half solved”. Agree that there is a problem and after the problem has been singled out agree on the actions to take now and in the future to prevent the same recurring.
 • Confronting issues – It is pointless to shy away from problems affecting your relationship like they say, the most expensive thing you can do is to do nothing about .  Problems should be solved and the more you solve them, the more you get good at them.
 • Forgiveness – Much as you may be wronged by your partner, a key important factor to normalizing a relation is reconciliation and forgiveness.  When you forgive you create a feeling of acceptance more and this will go along way in stabilizing the relationship.
 • Review agreements – If you had planned things and working on them has become impossible or facing big problems to its success it’s important to review the way forward.  Remember, change is sometimes inevitable.

Common factors that break relationships among couples

 • Financial wrangles: fighting over the control of family resources between couples can be very bad for a mutual relationship and could result in suspicions and lack of transparency.
 • Infidelity among couples: when a couple has an extra relationship secretly, things can turn bad when the other couple realizes and could lead to separation or divorce.
 • Inaccessibility: Some partners stay far from each other e.g. one in town the other in the rural area. This can give room to intrusion into a relationship by other persons.
 • Irresponsibility: failing to take relationship seriously like failing to fend for the family or overall lack of concern can be room for divorce.
 • Incompatible Lifestyles and unwillingness to change them e.g. over consumption of alcohol, involvement in crime.
 • Family interference i.e. from parents of the couples.