Even when there is no direct contact with death, it is not unusual for a child to ask, “What does it mean when you’re dead?” or, “Will I die too?”  He may want to know why and how a pet or a flower dies.  He may have seen a funeral procession or heard about the death of a well-known person.  Many parents who are willing and able to discuss almost any subject with their children would try to dodge questions about death.  Perhaps, it is because most of us would rather not think about death.  How parents explain the concept of death and how they answer their child’s questions about it are important.
They should also keep in mind that a child’s concept of death changes as he grows older. 

Common interpretations of death, found in children  between ages 3 and 5 are that death is some kind of a journey  from which a person will soon return, or that death is a long sleep and then waking up.  Kids aged between 5 and 9 tend to accept the idea that death is irreversible.  They also believe that death happens only to some people and may not happen to them.  As they grow older, children begin to realize that death comes to all living things, and that they too, will eventually die. 

Some ways to answer your child:
 • A direct answer is always the best one, experts say.  This is because evasive answers may tend to worsen the child’s grief and sorrow and make them last longer.

 • Parents usually have to deal with such facts as illness, old-age or accidents while explaining death to children.  For instance, if a 3-year old wants to know why his grandmother died, he might be told that grandma was very old and very tired, and that eventually everyone grows and old and tired and can no longer go on living.

 • Evading his questions is NOT guarding your child against the pain that might be caused by the truth.  The truth is that the child cannot go through life constantly protected from pain and grief. 

Mourning:
There are differences of opinion about their child’s participating in family gatherings of mourning relatives and in funeral ceremonies.  What people commonly do is send the child away to stay with friends.  This may tend to make the child feel alone.  It may add to his confusion about death and even deepen any fear he has.  At this time, he needs your support and love to help him realize that life has both happiness and sorrow for everyone.  The value of the feeling of belonging in sorrow as well as in joy cannot be overestimated.