This has become an acute problem in our life and to be more specific it has become an important factor in our relationship. There is so many couple who are affected by this dominating mentality. Some of them are really afraid of the dominating attitude of the partner. A male partner can be dominating even a female partner can also be of dominating nature. But now I will discuss why a person (either male or female) pursue the dominating nature? I mean to say how it takes place in our life. First I will be discussing the causes and then I will discuss the remedies of it.

Cause 1:

One can be too dominating only to prove himself/herself in front of other/s. He/she becomes a dominator to prove his/her wishes, culture, feelings etc.

Everybody has a different mindset. We all follow certain rules in our life. These rules are not being imposed by our society but these are imposed by our “id”. “Id”remains in the core of our mind which is followed by ego and the superego. “Id”means the person’s own wishes, own feelings but as every time we can not say or express what we want so “id” wishes and feelings are modified by the “ego” and the “superego”. When we can not satisfy our “id” wishes then we become more dominating and we do not allow others to satisfy the same needs.

Suppose you love your wife deeply but you can not express it properly. It may happen as you feel shy in front of her or it may happen as you feel that you are not so handsome and sexy in comparison to your wife. But a man always wants to show his masculinity to his wife. So he becomes dominating. As he can not express his “Id” feelings that are love for his wife so he starts questioning on each and every activity of his wife. But he never understands the wife can take this attitude in a wrongly manner and she can even hates him for that.

Cause 2:

Suppose a working woman always talks about her new friends in her office. Whenever the husband and the wife sit for the dinner the woman describes how a colleague appreciated her for the new dress and the make up. For this reason a husband can become dominating. Because he feels jealous of her colleagues and he feels that he is not able to give his wife the appreciation what she is getting from her colleagues. So he suffers from the insecurity and this insecurity gives birth to “dominating attitude.

Cause 3:

Suppose a husband and the wife is in same profession. This can lead to professional jealousy. A husband may feel jealous of her (the wife) professional career ,her promotions, her rapport with the other office colleagues etc and the same can happen in case of an wife also. She may feel jealous of her husband’s promotion, his friendships with the lady colleagues etc.

So this professional jealousy can lead to dominating attitude. A husband can become dominating or the wife can also become dominating to express his/her jealousy through the dominating attitude. This does not happen intentionally but it happens automatically.

REMEDIES:
It is very difficult to say the remedies as it may vary form person to person. But there should be proper understanding and sharing between a husband and the wife or between two partners. The friendship is very important between two partners. And both of the partners should understand that one can not force his/her feelings to other because everybody has the right to live his/her own life. He/she should also understand that love can not be expressed through the dominating mentality.

written by Debapriya Chatterjee